Saturday, February 24, 2007

Vessel


What is a vessel?
a ship
for safe passage over choppy seas?

a bottle
bobbing restlessly on the tide
preserving thoughts on paper?

a vein
through which
oxygen and
blood
intermingle
rushing nutrient to
heart,
mind,
arms, legs,
every extremity?

smooth bendable plastic
wrapped around twitching live cable wire
a means of containing electrical current
if only briefly?

a beckoning tunnel
discovered
on a cold windy path
a warm quiet cover
providing shelter from the elements?

What is a vessel?

safe harbor? time capsule? conduit?
passageway?
safely, tenderly
taking you where you need to go.

Vessel.






Image of painting by Nathan Florence. Oil on Canvas 2000.
For more information about the artist www.nflorencefineart.com

Thursday, February 22, 2007

Imposition



A time of reflection,
burnt ashes from palms set afire,
words of anticipated renewal,
an awakening time.
Preparing fields for new harvests.
Fire
Water
Breath
Ashes

An Imposition and a Blessing
Cool ash on burning forehead

Words spoken aloud
last night in a room dimly lit
with candles
and searching souls.
A tin pail on a pedastle,
welcoming last year's palm fronds and memories,
drums, song, fire, reflection, water, smoke, offering,

Imposition,
Blessing.

Something to think about for at least forty days,
not including Sundays
-Peach


I listened and spoke the following offering last night.
The poet captured my feelings and I'd like to share these words with you:


You thumbed grit
into my furrowed brow.
Marking me
With the sign of mortality.
The dust of last year's palms.
The cross you traced
Seared, smuded skin,
And I recalled
other ashes
Etched
into my heart
By those who loved too little
Or not at all.

(I couln't have said it better, thank you to Elizabeth-Anne Bariek for
"You thumbed grit"




-'You thumbed grit' by Elizabeth-Anne Bariek
from a Lent Sourcebook (Chicago Liturgy Traing Publications, 1990).

Sunday, February 18, 2007

man


Man.

Words worth? Worth his words
weight in gold.
Man, sometimes I think he's more in love
with his words of me
than with me
How could he love me?
He does not know me
in every sense of the word

An inkling maybe,
of pen to paper
But
He does not know me
completely

Do not lift me up so high
that you can no longer
touch me

I am human
I need touch
almost as much as
water
and
air
and the ground you place your own
blissful feet upon

He doesn't know me
not everything
only what I've chosen to share

I've been up there before
on a pedestal
more than
once

I didn't share that
It is not my place
Flattering, yes, for a while
but

How can you love someone
you've lifted so high
that
you can no longer feel

my breath on your neck?
feel my hand
seeking yours?
hold my body close to your heavenly warmth?

Do not love the idea of me
Love me

Maybe it is more comfortable,
in pondering my existence,
to put me up and away

If you cannot feel me
see me
eye to eye
on hallowed and unhallowed ground
I cannot disappoint you
Is that it?

I've been there
before
that isn't what I want


I am not his creation
or
observation

I am me
I breathe I hope I dream I succeed I fail I laugh I cry

I bleed

I move


Words turn my head
pages like a guilty pleasure
Share them,
your words belong to you. All of them. A part of you I love.
Of course
I am fascinated with every letter

but

put them
on paper
bind them
in a book

that we might read aloud
together
at a later point in time
looking back with fondness at this uncertain juncture
trepidation thankfully resolved

I might trace letters on your magnificent frame
your flesh pulled tightly from bone to beautiful bone
free from cover
on some
lazy warm morning, sun streaming in from open window
cracked
to hear the first sounds of daybreak
or
you might slowly trace my wanting flesh with your
fingers,
reading and writing braille
on my aching form
some
invigorating midnight, lit only by the moon

Here and now
I read the pages
how far can they get us?
no matter how perfectly phrased
or
artfully arranged on paper or silk screen?

I am flesh and blood
a woman
worth knowing
certainly
in every sense of the word

I can entertain you
and even inspire your thoughts
with some version of me
gladly,happily

but do not be confused

I am so much more (and less)
than
your vision of me

you can't know me
you can't truly love me

if you only imagine me

Oh, Man.

You know

I'm guilty too

dangerously
recklessly
we fall in love
with a vision, a dream
there's nothing wrong with that
unless there's no blissful climax
to this illusion
this dream
these words

I put you on a pedestal
how could I not?

Man, you,
standing before me
invading my thoughts
Your body your mind your soul
Rare Worthy Beautiful Man

It is uncomfortable
and
immobilizing
being on a pedestal like some
Greek god or goddess

Limits your ability to move,
doesn't it?
for fear
you'll step off
tumble crashing to earth
ending in a pile of unattractive rubble
Broken beyond repair

It looks good,
it doesn't feel good,
does it?
I know you're not used to this
Neither am I
I want you, the man, not an out of reach statue
of perfection
I see your flaws (from your mind)
embedded in your body
Let me caress them
and tell you its okay
You don't have to be perfection
You just have to be you, man.

So

Don't put me on a pedestal
And I won't put you there either

I breathe I move I love I change
as you do

Two pairs of
pink bare feet on warm wet grass
holding your hand in the morning
your body close
looking out together at the wonder
of life at daybreak
feeling hot sunshine
warming our heads at noon
drawing ever closer together at twilight
when the chill sets in
observing
mapping our own stars
long after sunset

That is my dream
those are my words

I'm sorry I put you up there
on that lonely cold column

You belong to the earth as well as the sky
free to move
free to walk next to me, if you wish,
holding my hand
leading my body to places we both want to go,


If that is your will and not simply your words-
as profound as they are?

You have conquered my mind with your words
you have pierced my heart with your pen
you have only to hold me again
with your eyes
and
your arms
and
your body so warm and present

I will melt into you and flow over you
and seep into the warm wet ground
honoring the earth, envisioning the heavens
with you
by my side
because
you're by my side
on the earth.

Man

Friday, February 16, 2007

Playing a Player...or Fire and Ice, I'm Undecided.





Sure enough, as my friend Will Shakespeare used to say:

"All the world's a stage,
And all the men and women merely players.
They have their exits and their entrances,
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages."

--From As You Like It (II, vii, 139-143)


You can't play a player.
But you can play this...



Contrary to popular belief,

I am not ALL peaches and cream.
Instead of feeling missed,
I'm feeling dismissed.
Pissed, actually.

Seriously, seriously, irritated.
If I weren't so irritated I'd be pouting.
I'm too pissed to pout right now.
Just barely hanging in there, by the way.

A not so juicy, not so patient pissed-off peach has spoken.
Likely into thin air.
I'm off for a few deep breaths, going to get something done.
Maybe some work, maybe some fun.
Haven't decided yet,

Guess what?
I get to decide for myself
Either one is better than sitting here,
waiting for the grand thaw...

Royally Irritated.
Could easily disappear with a huff
and the sound of a door slamming.
Is that what you'd like to hear?

Or would you rather hear how much
I really do care?
And how much you drive me nuts?
In a good way, most of the time.

Okay, feeling better.
Put down the pen,
back off.

This isn't about you, you know...
I am not an ice princess, either.
I'd rather flow like water than remain
frozen in time.




Here are the lyrics. Norah Jones' music is great pouting music...I'll get over it, probably.

NORAH JONES LYRICS

"Cold Cold Heart"

I've tried so hard my dear to show
That you're my every dream
Yet you're afraid each thing I do
Is just some evil scheme

A memory from your lonesome past
Keeps us so far apart
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart

Another love before my time
Made your heart sad an' blue
And so my heart is paying now
For things I didn't do

In anger unkind words are said
That make the teardrops start
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart

There was a time when I believed
That you belonged to me
But now I know your heart is shackled
To a memory

The more I learn to care for you
The more we drift apart
Why can't I free your doubtful mind
And melt your cold cold heart


[Thanks to elin.lissheim@swipnet.se for these lyrics]


[ www.azlyrics.com ]


How 'bout acting like you mean it, instead of acting like you don't.
As You Like it, Indeed.
How 'bout a little how I like it?
I believe the final act may be drawing to it's climax...
As You Like it, as you like it.

Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Sweet Dreams

This Valentine's Day has been, in a word, remarkable.


Wild Nights--Wild Nights!

Wild nights--wild nights!
Were I with thee
Wild nights should be
our luxury!

Futile the winds
To heart in port--
Done with the compass,
Done with the chart!

Rowing in Eden--
As the sea!
Might I moor, tonight,
In thee!

- Emily Dickinson

Sweet Dreams ahead.
For someday.

Wait a minute!



Time is of the essence
Time isn't after us
Time is on my side
Time in a bottle

Time line....>

Time me, clock me, face me!
Time for love
It was
the best of times, the worst of times, a tale of two love birds a tale of four and twenty black birds
baked in a pie...
soaring through the clouds whenever shall they meet?

Wait a minute, wait a minute, oh yeah...
Please, please, please?


I'm feeling a little lighthearted for a change. Cupid's silliness. Pause for refreshment, I can tarry, I'd like to watch and listen as your love unfolds-origami words-exquisite piece of work you are...
I
am
up
for the challenge. Believe you+me. Love?!. Punctuated.
I trust the accuracy of your clockwork, my friend, my secret, your admirer. Love is Actually a many splendored thing.

Oh! The Kindness of a Stranger

Who was it that said a stranger is only someone you haven't yet met?
A strange choice in poems for Valentine's Day,
You know.
(By now, you should know)
what I mean.

For my strange love, for you.



To a Stranger
by Walt Whitman (1819 - 1892)

Passing stranger! you do not know
How longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking,
Or she I was seeking
(It comes to me as a dream)

I have somewhere surely
Lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall'd as we flit by each other,
Fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,

You grew up with me,
Were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become
not yours only nor left my body mine only,

You give me the pleasure of your eyes,
face, flesh as we pass,
You take of my beard, breast, hands,
in return,

I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you
when I sit alone or wake at night, alone
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again
I am to see to it that I do not lose you.

To Sleep, perchance to dream with me

Heartfelt Wishes on Valentine's Day


A Classic:

Beautiful Dreamer


Beautiful dreamer, wake unto me,
Starlight and dewdrops are waiting for thee;
Sounds of the rude world heard in the day,
Lull'd by the moonlight have all pass'd a way!

Beautiful dreamer, queen of my song,
List while I woo thee with soft melody;
Gone are the cares of life's busy throng, --
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

Beautiful dreamer, out on the sea
Mermaids are chaunting the wild lorelie;
Over the streamlet vapors are borne,
Waiting to fade at the bright coming morn.

Beautiful dreamer, beam on my heart,
E'en as the morn on the streamlet and sea;
Then will all clouds of sorrow depart, --
Beautiful dreamer, awake unto me!

- by Stephen Foster

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

How Could You?! Keyholder...

How could I
put words to page?

my love's
slipped out
from iron cage

Warm and soft
come and find it

surround yourself
in front,
behind it


Over and under
above and below

My passion's escaped


So.
Now you know.


~A promt,

That's all, don't worry.
Like time, and you,
I'm patient.

No need for hurry.


Alternate ending,
(slightly fickle)

~Impromtu:

Hungry Beast,
Hurry, Hurry!

catch me now,

ease ...
burning fury

into,
in two
in to

eiderdown flury
(me)



Cannot decide which ending I prefer...I'll need to sleep on it.

Maybe I'll post something more traditional tomorrow. I'm not feeling very traditional tonight.

Happy Valentine's Day-only one out of 365 to love and be loved.


Take Me to the River



















A'fire on the Shore

a spark
kindly licking
careful arrangement
of sticks and stone
encouraged by
dearly
but nearly
missed
papered hope
in an old binder on a shelf.

An accidental spark
takes purchase
soon
a kindling flame
tended by
soft breath
encouragement

Warming glow
slowly
melting hard matter of wood to
orange liquid fluidity

Finally poetic bellows
red
words consuming my form

Burning
melting away
inhibition

Approaching river's edge

Testing the water
Fingertips breaking calm surface
Ripple effect

Cool soothing waters
slip in quietly
slowly

avoiding sharp rocks, broken bottles
toes in soft sandy bottom
going under
going down

subaqueous
Quiet still
Immersed

Liquid caresses
cool grey velvet
fluidity
compressing thought
pressing temples
erasing memory

Pressure building
welcome ache
surface calling
light beckons
louder now

Flexed feet
knees bent
pushing off
breaking surface

Breathe
Gasp
Noisy welcome
Air




....Goosebumps and water droplets
Warmed by sun and trees and cricket chips

A fresh baptism.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Flow, Faucet, Spigot, Rush


Uhm, never thought I'd say this, but would someone please shut me up!

Turn off my ideas for a few minutes,
Give my poor brain a rest?
Someone accidently bumped my spigot,
And my trickle of inspiration
is now stuck in the "on" position.

My thoughts are consuming me
and I'm afraid I might drown.

Words and thoughts are rushing out...
My sink will soon be over run
and I'll have a river of trouble to deal with.

Tired of the pool of tears, but glad for the release.
Time to put it back together.




Someone help find the balance for me, remind me how to swim!
I've got to get somewhere,
can only tread water for so long.

Like a dam, I've held back the waters so long
I'm hoping I'll be a strong enough swimmer
able to avoid the undertow....

Someone shut me up
so I can get some work done.

Just for half a day please.
Need to build a life boat
if this continues much longer.

Hush now. Sink or Swim

Saturday, February 10, 2007

Education and Application


I didn't write "What I've Learned." I'm borrowing it from someone who sent me a note. It is from a person I've never met in the real world, and probably never will. I asked for permission to repost it. It just seems fitting. Sometimes there are so many thoughts running through my head I find it hard to find the words, or the way to balance it all.

I will say this: Life is so good. Peaches and Cream. What a wonderful world. I am so very grateful to be healthy and happy and surrounded by people who inspire me. Giving back what I've been given is my mission in life.

Here's to connections and joy and love. Make a difference in someone's life. Rise above. Ascend.

Here's the borrowed post. My own words are tangled today. I have so much to learn, and am glad for it.

I've learned-
That you cannot make someone love you.
All you can do is be someone
who can be loved.
The rest is up to them.

I've learned-
That no matter how much I care,
some people won't care back.

I've learned-
That it takes years to build up trust,
and only seconds to destroy it.

I've learned-
That it's not what you have in your life
but who you have in your life that counts.

I've learned-
That you can get by on charm
for about fifteen minutes.
After that, you'd better know something.

I've learned-
That you shouldn't compare yourself
to the best others can do.

I've learned-
That you can do something in an instant
that will give you heartache for life.

I've learned-
That it's taking me a long time
to become the person I want to be.

I've learned-
That you should always leave loved ones
with loving words.
It may be the last time you see them.

I've learned-
That you can keep going
long after you think you can't.

I've learned-
That we are responsible for what we do,
no matter how we feel.

I've learned-
That either you control your attitude
or it controls you.

I've learned-
That regardless of how hot and steamy
a relationship is at first,
the passion fades
and there had better be
something else to take its place.

I've learned-
That heroes are the people
who do what has to be done
when it needs to be done,
regardless of the consequences.

I've learned-
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.

I've learned-
That my best friend and I can do anything
or nothing and have the best time.

I've learned-
That sometimes the people you expect
to kick you when you're down
will be the ones to help you get back up.

I've learned-
That sometimes when I'm angry
I have the right to be angry,
but that doesn't give the right to be cruel.

I've learned-
That true friendship continues to grow,
even over the longest distance.
Same goes for true love.

I've learned-
That just because someone doesn't love
you the way you want them to doesn't
mean they don't love you with all they have.

I've learned-
That maturity has more to do with
what types of experiences you've had
and what you've learned from them
and less to do with how many
birthdays you've celebrated.

I've learned-
That you should never tell a child
their dreams are unlikely or outlandish.
Few things are more humiliating, and what
a tragedy it would be if they believed it.

I've learned-
That your family won't always be there for you.
It may seem funny, but people you aren't
related to can take care of you and love you
and teach you to trust people again. Families
aren't biological.

I've learned-
That no matter how good a friend is,
they're going to hurt you every once in a while
and you must forgive them for that.

I've learned-
That it isn't always enough to be forgiven by others.
Sometimes you are to learn to forgive yourself.

I've learned-
That no matter how bad your heart is broken
the world doesn't stop for your grief.

I've learned-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are,
but we are responsible for who we become.

I've learned-
That just because two people argue,
it doesn't mean they don't love each other
And just because they don't argue,
it doesn't mean they do.

I've learned-
That we don't have to change friends
if we understand that friends change.

I've learned-
That you shouldn't be so eager to find out a secret.
It could change your life forever.

I've learned-
That two people can look at the exact same thing
and see something totally different.

I've learned-
That no matter how you try to protect your children,
they will eventually get hurt and you will hurt in the process.

I've learned-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours
by people who don't even know you.

I've learned-
That even when you think you have no more to give,
when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help.

I've learned-
That credentials on the wall
do not make you a decent human being.

I've learned-
That the people you care about most in life
are taken from you too soon.

I've learned-
That it's hard to determine where to draw the line between being nice and not hurting people's feelings and standing up for what you believe.

Author unknown

Love at First Sight




I'll admit it. I fall in love at first sight. It happens daily. I love a passage in a novel, a button on a coat, shoes, the stories strangers tell me. The smile on a new face. Seeing the joy in a child's eyes, a good restaurant, the way a moon shines on a lake. I love. It is who I am. I can't help it. It's not my fault. How can there be anything wrong with loving? Loving something or someone requires no feedback, no expectations, no explanations. Love does not need to be accepted soley because it is offered. It may throw some people off their game, move them out of their comfort zone. Doesn't matter. I can't help it. I won't be ashamed. It is who I am. I love. It's my thing. It is what I do. Be as skeptical as you want to be. I'm used to proving myself. Why is it so impossible to believe you are loved? A very good question. In spite of my loving, I question those who love me. What a waste of time. Questions, Why? Of course you are loved, of course I am loved. we all are. It is our destiny. Personal memo to Miss Peach: Enjoy loving. Enjoy being loved. What else is there? Why not.

Here's an explanation. Maybe music says it better.

"Head Over Feet"

I had no choice but to hear you
You stated your case time and again
I thought about it

You treat me like I'm a princess
I'm not used to liking that
You ask how my day was

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

Your love is thick and it swallowed me whole
You're so much braver than I gave you credit for
That's not lip service

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

You are the bearer of unconditional things
You held your breath and the door for me
Thanks for your patience

You're the best listener that I've ever met
You're my best friend
Best friend with benefits
What took me so long

I've never felt this healthy before
I've never wanted something rational
I am aware now
I am aware now

You've already won me over in spite of me
And don't be alarmed if I fall head over feet
Don't be surprised if I love you for all that you are
I couldn't help it
It's all your fault

~Alanis Morisette from the Jaged Little Pill that keeps popping up


Dedicated to love. To friends. Dedicated to buttons I may push, and time well spent loving. All.

Sunday, February 04, 2007

I See the Moon, and the Moon sees Thee


The moon, in all her fullness, pulled me from sleep
early Friday morning
before noisy throng of day

She pulled me
from dream of hope
dream of beauty
dream of desire
willing my eyes to open
She pulled me from dreaming vaguely of time spent
and moments yet to be

The moon, in all her fullness, tugs me from dreams and immediacy
reminders of sweet moments
yearnings of eternal magnitude

Whole
blindingly white
juxtaposed against
navy sky

Continuous ebb and flow
of tide
pulling me out of sleep
pulling me out of here and now

Mirrored imagery
whole, bright
reflected on indigo sea

Tide pull
Timeless moon
wakening
softly

The moon, in all her fullness, beyond human comprehension
giving peaceful percipience

Not roughly, not brazenly, but as a gentle breeze
the sound of windchimes, train whistles, a mythical sea bird
haunting my dreams
day and night

The smell of salt, sweat
sunshine on tanned bodies
dipping into cool waters

Reflected in a pool
laying side by side
lounge chairs layed back
stiff chair arms a boundary from shoulders touching
while we
Imagined.
Averted articulations of

Warm nights
to slip in water
nothing but cool silky waves lapping around us as we'd move through the weight of water
denying gravity
warm flesh pressed together
challenging water to come between our thoughts
in moonlight
quiet tenderness
a midnight swim

There
a warm hand on my shoulder, sunshine
There
a sweet smile on a child's face
There
bells ringing, calling the faithless and faithful
There
a fierce Manx
crying, creeping out of the woods on a crisp October night
There
a reverberation from
the string of a guitar in a song sung long before my time
There
a glimpse of a stranger on the street, exchanged glances
There
on the look passed between an old man and his old wife
understanding and love and secure knowledge
of a shared life well spent
There
in church, a benediction, a communion,
a candle expunged in present moment
sending smoke spiraling through space and time
lighting small sparks everywhere,

Hope
igniting
in hearts of those who know
Passing it on

There
kisses remembered
tender, honorable, aching for want of more
enough
but not enough

Timeless
a cherished gift
of unimaginable magnitude
hope for the future promise of peaceful tomorrows filled with simple purpose and joy

Desire,
longing for life
together or apart
a gift of knowledge of what could be
the way it should be

There
a hard hand on my knee
the car
speeding down a highway

There
strong giving hands on sore shoulders
beckoning before either one of us was
ready
Too soon
Not soon enough
Moments wasted but not forgotten
Kisses
Savored like the taste of licorice and love
Hard candy
suckled longer than reason warrants
lasting days and months
Hooking a finger in your beltloop
a slight bent purchase not nearly steady enough
or strong enough
to hold you against your will

or your readiness for me
but a promise
of my will
of my desire


He comes to me
like a dream
time and space no obstacle
not now, but always
not past, not future
simply always

The moon, in all her fullness,
knows
what lies beyond comprehension

The moon, in all her fullness,
knows
the truth, the past, the present, the future.

The moon, in all her fullness,
tide pull
ever constant reminder of brief moments
in time
insignificant to most

but you know

and I know

In the moment,
it was not insignificant

The moon, in all her fullness
defies
reason and logic and complication and schedules
defies
lies and truths unspoken


The moon, in all her fullness,
comprehends
what passed between us

The moon in all her fullness

a persistant reminder
of what is meant to be
But may never be

Look up at the moon, my friend, and deny her knowledge.
See the moon, dream ghost, and try not to imagine what is yet to be.

The moon,
in all her percipience
is full of wisdom of love of dreams
of memory and prospect.

Chose wisely
The moon will rise every night
The moon in all her fullness , will fill your eyes and your heart
with reminders of what was, what is
and what may yet still be


The moon, in all her fullness
presence, percipience, pleasure,
undeniable.